Emma - My beautiful daughter

Isn't she beautiful? I only have 3 pictures of my daughter. Two of them are recent and one is from when she was an infant. These are the only pictures that I have ever received from her mother. I will treasure these photos as if they were priceless (they always will be to me). 

I hope to have contact with Emma soon and have photos of my own (and the start of many wonderful memories).  Emma's mother had told me that she looked just like I did as a baby (see the family pictures page). I can certainly tell that she does look exactly like I did as a teenager. She looks identical to me at her age. I am amazed at how much of me there is looking back at me in these photos. I honestly feel as if I know Emma already. I can see myself in her face and I feel like I know exactly what she is thinking and her emotions in the photos. I know Emma must have a lot of her Dad in her (more than just her looks). I'm sure that she would love to know me and her half-sisters when the time comes. I am praying for that day to be soon!

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Emma - Every picture is worth a thousand words

(click photo for a larger view).

Emma at home (2005)

Emma with her dog and grandma (2005)

Emma with her mother & grandma (almost 1 years old)

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Emma at home (2005)

How I Know About Emma:

The only information I have about Emma is from the limited contact I had with her mother (when she briefly contacted me in 2005). We dated in 1991 while I was stationed in the U.S. Army in Berlin, Germany. Emma's mother then moved away to the U.S.A. before Emma was born and I've been left out of my daughter's life ever since. I never knew her mother and I had broken up as a couple when she left the country pregnant (she never told me that she was going back with her ex-husband for one year and I never knew what happened to her). The last I heard back then was that she was no longer pregnant (after I sent her money to start going to the OB/GYN). I searched in vain for her mother and eventually found out from a colleague that she was back in Berlin, Germany 1 year later (after I had returned to the United States). We briefly stayed in contact over the phone, but she would not tell me if I was Emma's father when I would ask. I assumed she had either "tricked" her ex Jason DiGuilio into believing he was the father or just had not told her parents the truth (whom she was living with) and was afraid they would hear our conversations.

Emma's mother did not say that I was her father until she was almost 3 years old when a medical emergency came up. After that I could not get a response back whenever I would try to establish contact (despite many attempts). I always thought that perhaps Emma's mother had remarried and did not want Emma confused about who her father was. I assumed this was the only "good" reason why her mother would not return my calls. I was a single parent myself for many years and just too naive and young to know what my legal rights were and how to know my child from half way around the world. As time went by, I even considered that Emma had brothers and/or sisters in her life and that it was meant to be that I was doing the right thing by not interfering with whatever Emma knew to be the truth. I also had no idea that Emma did not have any father in her life or that her mother did not live with her (but I assume this is for the best as I hear Emma is very happy). Frustrated by Jennifer's not caring whether I knew anything about Emma (or her about me someday), I tried to move on with my life and family.

Broken hearted, I have always hoped that I would find Emma someday or that she would look for me. I have so dearly wanted the opportunity to communicate with Emma and someday be able to visit my beautiful daughter and be a part of her life. It is very important that she know that I did not just have a "fling" with her mother. I loved Jen and wanted to be our child's father all along. I believed Jennifer about getting a divorce. I was very distraught when she lied and told me she was no longer pregnant and would not tell me why she was not coming back to Germany (I guess I had been deceived all along). After that, all I could do was hope I would someday hear something (this was after all before the age of the internet).

To my surprise, I found Jen's address and wrote to her. Emma's mother did respond to me for a brief period in the fall of 2005 (for about 1 month) and I was finally able to see what Emma looked like. I always figured that Emma would look so much like her mother that I would never even recognize her if I was to see her walking down the street....I was very wrong. Emma looks just like me. She reminds me of myself so much that I feel I already know her emotionally. This has made me and my family so happy to see my beautiful daughter and very sad that we have not been able to find her or know her for so long.  Regrettably, Emma's mother again stopped communicating with me about our beautiful child once I wanted to contact her grandparents to know all about her (which Jennifer had told me she would happily agree to and that she was ready to tell Emma the truth if she asked). I wanted so dearly to know everything I could about her, but I was only given a glimpse into her life and then completely shout out (again). Hopefully I have been given truthful information about Emma's interests and personality.

Since I am not "legally" listed on Emma's birth certificate, and since she does not have my last name...I dearly hope that she will find this website sometime soon. I am trying very hard to make legal arrangements to know my daughter and for her to know her father's family in the U.S.A. Emma's mother will not tell her about her father and his family and she has stopped communicating any more information with me about our daughter.

For some unknown reason, Emma's mother decided to keep her from knowing anything about her biological father all of her life. Emma's grandparents are raising our child while Jennifer goes on with her own life in Berlin. Thanks to this website, I have heard from those who have met Jennifer and heard her story change about our daughter's "real" father. I do not understand this, but I am determined to share and be a part of my child's life. I love my daughters....all four of them and I would never want any of them left out of my life.

Emma is currently being raised be her grandparents in Berlin, Germany. They will not responded to any of my attempts to contact them about getting to know my beautiful daughter. Not even an answer denying my paternity or asking me to honor their wishes about what they want Emma to know. I honestly believe that Jennifer may have been told to deny that I am Emma's father and then stopped all contact with me. Perhaps they are afraid that I want to take Emma from them, but I just want to know my daughter and have contact with her. I would never interfere with her happiness.

What I know About Emma:

Obviously Emma is becoming a beautiful young woman. I pray that she is happy, safe and has a wonderful life. I would like to add to her life by offering her a wealth of love and knowledge about her father and his family that she has never known about since she was born. I cannot comprehend why her mother has let her grow up with no knowledge of her biological father and his family. I would have done anything and everything for my daughter just as I would for all my children.

From what her mother did tell me, Emma is very talented and intelligent. She shares many interests and physical traits of her father and her sisters. This is what we have been told about Emma;